People struggling with substance abuse live in a constant state of chaos. Alcohol becomes the primary way to cope with problems and difficult feelings, and in turn, he or she will stop at nothing to supply this need. As a result, they burn bridges, lie, and manipulate those around them. They isolate and angrily blame others for their problems. It comes as no surprise that their actions create negative effects for the entire family; they can’t seem to focus on anything other than the next drink.
THE ADDICTED
Deny, deny, deny – this is an enabler’s M.O. The goal of this role is to smooth things over within the family. In order to “protect” the family, enablers convince themselves that alcohol isn’t a problem and, in order to make light of a serious situation, they make excuses for their loved one’s behavior. While the enabler is most often a spouse, this role can also be taken on by a child.
THE ENABLER
The family hero is your typical Type A personality: a hard-working, overachieving perfectionist. Through his or her own achievements, the hero tries to bring the family together and create a sense of normalcy. This role is usually taken on by the eldest child, as they seek to give hope to the rest of the family. Unfortunately, a driving need to “do everything right” tends to put an extreme amount of pressure on the hero, leaving them highly anxious and susceptible to stress-related illnesses later in life.
THE HERO
The scapegoat is just what you would expect: the one person who gets blamed for the whole family’s problems. This role tends to be taken on by the second oldest child; he or she offers the family a sense of purpose by providing someone else to blame. They voice the family’s collective anger, while shielding the addicted parent from a lot of blame and resentment. When scapegoats get older, males tend to act out in violence, while females often run away or participate in promiscuous sex.
THE SCAPEGOAT
Think of the mascot as the class clown, always trying to deflect the stress of the situation by supplying humor. This role is usually taken on by the youngest child; they’re fragile, vulnerable, and desperate for the approval of others. Providing comic relief is also the mascot’s defense against feeling pain and fear himself. Mascots often grow up to self-medicate with alcohol, perpetuating the cycle of addiction.
THE MASCOT
The lost child role is usually taken on by the middle or youngest child. They’re shy, withdrawn, and sometimes thought of as “invisible” to the rest of the family. They don’t seek (or get) a lot of attention from other family members, especially when alcoholism is present within the family. Lost children put off making decisions, have trouble with forming intimate relationships, and choose to spend time on solitary activities as a way to cope.
THE LOST CHILD
At KS Rehab, the whole family goes to treatment. By extending our clinical resources beyond the identified patient, we offer help to the entire family unit (biological, adoptive, chosen, etc.) to best support family involvement throughout the process.
The Family Realignment is where it all begins, its purpose is to begin dissecting the family system and identifying roles in order to establish healthy boundaries that will best support long-term recovery for the whole family. This means that everyone participates in their own recovery-based lifestyle.
This is a crucial part to our process, so we assign every family a Family Advocate. The Family Advocate is 24/7 support dedicated just for our families. They act as a liaison between the identified patient and their family to make sure that everyone is being held accountable to their new roles and boundaries in recovery. The Family Advocate is the families go-to for any guidance when it comes to how they can best support their loved ones.
It’s Ken and Eric Seeley-McLaughlin, the Founders and Owners of Ken Seeley Communities. We are both in recovery, and through our personal and professional experiences, we understand the importance and delicacy of involving family in the treatment process. We invite you to join our family and begin working on your own recovery-based lifestyle. We are 100%involved in our programming, Ken does trauma work and Eric facilitates our Family Support Group, so this is not the last you’ll see of us! We are excited to begin this journey with you and your family, and hope that this guide will help you along the way.
Family Coaching with Eric is our online Family Support Group where we invite our families who are ready to take on the deep-rooted issues surrounding substance use and/ or mental health disorders that have disrupted the family system and learn how to best support long-term recovery for the whole family.
Eric’s specialty is working with family systems to intervene and reset the trajectory of families that have been impacted by substance use and/ or mental health disorders. Eric combines his clinical background with his long-term intervention experience to bring about dynamic change through the use of evidence-based approaches focused on healing individuals and their loved ones.
The initial 90 days begins after our Admissions Process. The level of care is based on the clinical needs, insurance, and/ or your payment plan. Before admitting and during treatment you are responsible for the following fees in addition to any payments made to enter our facilities. After stepping down from the Residential level of care, programming can be completed in our Sober Living Facility.
Post-discharge and for the entire first year of recovery, all of our clients are a part of our comprehensive long-term Aftercare Program (availability based on care options in your area, your insurance coverage, and/ or financial means).
KSC accepts most private health insurance plans to help reduce out of pocket expenses. Call our Admissions Team to receive a free insurance check and we will review your insurance plan substance abuse coverage with you.
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